A Caregiver’s Guide to the Neurodiversity Movement and Affirming Your Child’s Identity

Neurodiversity is a Strength

If you are raising a child who learns, thinks, or communicates in unique ways, you are not alone. The word neurodiversity describes the natural differences in how people’s brains work. Some children may have autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other ways of processing the world. 

The neurodiversity movement encourages us to view these differences as strengths, not problems to “fix.” As a caregiver, you play a powerful role in helping your child build confidence and feel proud of who they are! This article will provide an overview of the neurodiversity movement, provide examples of how you can support your child’s growth, and provide tools to work with their school and community. 

What is the Neurodiversity Movement?

The neurodiversity movement began in the late 1990s, led by autistic self-advocates who wanted society to value neurological differences rather than view them only as disorders. Today, it includes people with autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, and other developmental or cognitive differences. The key ideas are:

• Brains are naturally diverse, and this strengthens human communities. 
• Focus on strengths. Every child has unique talents and ways of learning.
• Promote acceptance. Children should be supported for who they are, rather than pressured to become someone they are not. 
• Support access. Neurodiverse children may still need accommodations, therapies, or tools, but these should help them participate fully as themselves, not erase their identity.

For caregivers, this means encouraging your child to see their brain as valuable and helping others understand how to support them!

Supporting Social and Emotional Well-being at Home

As a caregiver, you may worry about helping your child make friends or learn social skills. A neurodiversity-affirming approach looks different from traditional social skills training, which may tend to focus on changing or “fix” a child’s approach to socializing. Instead, it emphasizes on teaching inclusion, self-advocacy, and respect for differences. 

Here are some strategies to emphasize these things with your own child or children:

• Model friendship qualities. Talk about characteristics of a good friend, like honesty, kindness, respect, and listening, then practice them at home and in the community during your day-to-day interactions.
• Use role-play games. Pretend-play situations, like inviting a friend to play or joining a group activity. Allowing your child to practice in a safe space can help build their confidence!
• Highlight strengths. Point out to your child how their own unique interests or talents can help them connect with others. For example, “You love to draw, maybe you can share your art with your classmates!”
• Respect social energy. Some kids need breaks after being around others. Build in quiet time and allow for breaks so your child doesn’t burn out or become overwhelmed.

Partnering with Schools

Schools may or may not be familiar with neurodiversity-affirming practices. Caregivers can help by:

• Sharing resources. Bring teachers or staff articles, videos, or resources (see the Resources & Tools section for some examples). 
• Explaining your child’s needs. Provide information or examples as to what will help your child succeed, such as “noise-cancelling headphones help my child focus in class.”
• Encouraging strength-based goals. Collaborate with teachers to find ways they can build academic content on what your child enjoys instead of only focusing on challenges. 

Research shows that when schools adopt neurodiversity-affirming practices, children feel more included and experience better social and academic outcomes.

Building Identity and Self-Esteem

Children develop self-esteem when they feel accepted for who they are. Here are ways to support this:

• Celebrate differences. Talk openly about neurodiversity being a part of human diversity. 
• Read affirming books. Choose stories with neurodiverse characters; this can help kids see themselves positively (see the Resources & Tools section for some examples).
• Encourage self-advocacy. Teach your child to say or communicate what helps them, like “I need a break,” or “Can you say that differently or show it to me?”
• Use affirming language. Communicate the message “You learn differently, and that’s a strength,” rather than “You have a problem, or something is wrong.”

Studies show that neurodiverse children with strong self-identity are more resilient and have better mental health outcomes (Maguire et al., 2024).

Autism Acceptance Month: Shifting the Conversation

Every April, many communities recognize Autism Awareness Month. However, autistic self-advocates have called for a change in focus from “awareness” to acceptance. 

Why the change?

• Awareness highlights autism as a problem to notice or fix. 
• Acceptance emphasized belonging, respect, and valuing autistic people for who they are. 

As a caregiver, you can support this shift by:

• Using the term Autism Acceptance in conversations, school events, or social media posts. 
• Sharing resources created by autistic people. 
• Encourage schools and community groups to move from “raising awareness” to creating inclusive practices. 

This small change in language can help make children feel proud, rather than “othered,” and remind the community that inclusion is about action, not just knowledge. 

Identity-First vs. Person-First Language

You may notice two common ways of describing people with autism:

• Identity-first language: autistic person.
• Person-first language: person with autism.

Some autistic self-advocates prefer using identity-first language because autism is an important part of who they are, not something separate to be hidden. Others, including some families and professionals, prefer person-first language because it emphasizes the person before the diagnosis. There is no single “right” answer. What matters most is respecting how each individual wants to be described. For caregivers, this means:

• Asking your child, when possible, what they prefer. 
• Respecting the language used by autistic adults and communities. 
• Being open to adjusting as your child grows and their identity develops. 

Using language thoughtfully shows children that their voices matter and helps build pride in their identity. 

Research Spotlight

Recent research highlights the benefit of neurodiversity-affirming approaches:

• Affirming practices reduce stigma and improve self-esteem in autistic youth. 
• Caregiver education on neurodiversity increases family resilience and lowers stress. 
• Schools that adopt affirming approaches report better peer relationships and reduced bullying. 

Resources & Tools

Book Recommendations

For Kids (with neurodiverse characters)

• Different-A Great Thing to Be! by Heather Avis
• My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete & Ryan Elizabeth Peete
• Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings by Jessica Sinarski & Zachary Kline
• A Friend for Henry by Jenn Bailey
• This Is My Brain! A Book on Neurodiversity by Elise Gravel

For Older Kids / Middle Grade

• A Kind of Spark by Elle McNicoll 
• What’s the Matter with Newton? by Mark Weakland

For Caregivers

• Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
• Autism and the Neurodiversity Movement: An Introduction by Steven K. Kapp

Activities Ideas

• Friendship Bingo. Make a bingo card with qualities of a good friend (shares, listens, takes turns). Each time your child practices one, mark it. 
• Strength Collage. Collect pictures or words that show your child’s talents and interests and display it proudly!
• Feelings Charades. Take turns acting out emotions to build emotional awareness.

Handouts & Videos to Share with Schools

• Neurodiversity and Inclusive Education (handout) by Autistic Self Advocacy Network
• Classroom Supports for ADHD and Learning Differences (guides) by Understood.org
• What Does Neurodiversity Mean? (handout) by The Neurodiversity Hub
• What is Neurodiversity? (animated video, 3 minutes) by Harvard Project Zero
• Autism Acceptance in Schools (short video) by Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network

5 Key Takeaways

1. Neurodiversity is about seeing brain differences as strengths, not problems. 
2. Caregivers play a central role in shaping children’s confidence and identity. 
3. Social skills should be taught in inclusive, respectful ways.
4. Partnering with schools helps create affirming environments. 
5. Research shows that affirming practices improve mental health, social skills, and resilience.

As a caregiver, you are a powerful advocate for your neurodiverse child(ren). By embracing the neurodiversity movement, teaching social-emotional skills in affirming ways, and working with schools, you can help your child build confidence and thrive! Remember, your child’s brain is not something to be fixed, it is brilliant in its own unique way.

FAQs

Does affirming neurodiversity mean we ignore challenges?

No! It means we support children in ways that respect who they are, while still helping them navigate challenges. 

How do I explain neurodiversity to my child?

Keep it simple: “Your brain works in a unique way. That makes you who you are, and it’s something to be proud of!”

What if my child struggles to make friends?

Focus on teaching qualities of friendship, helping them find peers with similar interests, and celebrating small successes. 

Key Terms

Neurodiversity is the idea that brain differences are natural and valuable.

Neurodiverse describes a group that includes people with different kinds of brains.

Neurodivergent refers to a person whose brain works differently from the “typical” way.

Affirming practice is a respectful, strengths-based approach to support.

Self-advocacy is the ability to speak up about one’s own needs.

References

Botha, M., & Gillespie-Lynch, K. (2022). Come as you are: Examining autistic identity 

development and the neurodiversity movement through an intersectional lens. Human Development, 66(2), 93–112. https://doi.org/10.1159/000524123

Harrison, M., & Adams, D. (2025). Global movements need global leadership: Expanding neurodiversity-inclusive education beyond Western-centric perspectives in Southeast Asia. International Journal of Developmental Disabilities. https://doi.org/10.1080/20473869.2025.2527252

Leadbitter, K., Buckle, K. L., Ellis, C., & Dekker, M. (2021). Autistic self-advocacy and the 

neurodiversity movement: Implications for autism early intervention research and practice. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 635690.  https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.635690

Scavarda, A., & Cascio, M. A. (2025). 'Children should be raised like this': A history of the neurodiversity movement in Italy and its implications for children's well-being. Children & Society. https://doi.org/10.1111/chso.12898

Wagland, Z., Sterman, J., Scott-Cole, L., Spassiani, N., & Njelesani, J. (2025). Promoting neurodiversity-affirming care for autistic children: A scoping review. Neurodiversity, 3, Article 27546330251357479. https://doi.org/10.1177/27546330251357479