Building Trust and Communication with Families: Helpful Tips for Daycare Providers and Early Childhood Educators

As an early childhood educator or daycare provider, building strong relationships with families and working together is essential to help children thrive. When teachers/daycare providers and families cooperate, children feel more supported both at home and in school/daycare. However, building these connections is not always so simple.

Every family is unique, with different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. Some parents or caregivers may be busy with work or other responsibilities, making it hard for them to engage, and what engagement might mean to you might be different for them. Others might feel nervous about sharing information or might not know how to communicate their concerns. Sometimes, misunderstandings can arise, making it challenging to work together.

That’s why it’s important to have clear communication and trust. By taking the time to understand each family’s situation and needs, educators can create a welcoming environment where everyone feels valued. Here are some helpful tips on how to talk with parents/caregivers, gather important information, and build trust with families.

Provide a Warm, Welcoming Space With You

When seeing or meeting with families in person or virtually, greet them with a smile and by name, ask how they are doing, and listen actively. These simple gestures show that you care and set a positive tone for your relationship. Additionally, take time to learn about each family, asking about their interests, traditions, or favorite activities. Make sure all families feel welcome, regardless of their background, and celebrate diversity by incorporating different identities, cultures, and traditions into your activities. However, be sure to approach this thoughtfully and respectfully, ensuring that all representations are accurate and meaningful to foster understanding and appreciation among students and families. The New York State Office of Child and Family Services (OCFS) has made available a Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Accessibility (DEIA) Toolkit for childcare providers with resources and information about how to incorporate DEIA into a program‘s mission, philosophy, programming, education, materials/supplies and activities.

Ensure that any differences or needs are considered and inquired of the family, such as preferred communication styles, important holidays or customs you should be aware of, dietary restrictions for any events or when food is made available/offered, and translation/interpretation services needed for meetings or verbal/written communications.

Take a Moment to Check-In With Yourself Before Interactions/Meetings

Leading up to an interaction or meeting, you may be feeling various emotions and stress. While your feelings are completely normal and valid, it is important to check in with yourself and be aware of what you are feeling, and what you might need to do before the meeting or interaction to pause, breathe, and calm yourself down or ground yourself if you’re feeling stressed and distracted. It can also be helpful to talk about what you’re feeling with a colleague, friend, or loved one. You want to ensure the interaction is as positive as possible and that any emotions and stress do not filter in and negatively impact the interaction or your relationship. If you’re having a meeting with families, it can help to ensure the meeting is as beneficial and productive as possible.

Use Open-Ended Questions

When talking with families, try to ask open-ended questions rather than close-ended questions, which typically invite a "yes" or "no" answer or require a specific response. Open-ended questions can help encourage conversation and connection, gather valuable information, and build relationships. Below are some examples of open-ended questions.

• About Daily Routines: "Can you tell me about your child’s morning routine before coming to school/daycare?"
• On Interests and Hobbies: "What activities does your child enjoy doing at home?"
• Regarding Friendships: "How does your child interact with their friends? Are there any special friendships they talk about?"
• Concerning Challenges: "What are some challenges your child has faced recently, and how have they handled them?"
• Learning at Home: "What learning activities do you do together at home that your child enjoys?"
• About Emotions: "How does your child express their feelings at home when they’re happy or upset?"
• On Family Events: "Can you share any recent family events that have been important or significant to your child?"
• Feedback on School: "What do you hope your child will learn or experience in school this year?"
• Cultural Background: "Are there any traditions or customs that are important to your family that we should know about?"
• Future Goals: "What goals do you have for your child as they grow and learn?"

Be Supportive and Respectful

Recognize that every family has different needs and backgrounds. Be respectful of their parenting styles and choices. If a family is facing challenges, offer support without judgment. If a caregiver is worried about their child’s behavior, suggest ways you can work together to support their child and listen to any thoughts and ideas they may have.

Share Information Regularly

Keep families updated about their child's progress and activities. You can send home daily/weekly notes or emails, weekly newsletters, or use a communication app (like these). You can include highlights from the week, things that went well/any improvements and things that were challenging, upcoming events, and tips for activities they can do at home. This helps families feel involved and informed. Ensure information and communications are accessible for all families, such as considering any visual or hearing impairments, ensuring the reading level of written communication is accessible for everyone, and that communications are translated and available into the languages spoken by families. Ask what translation/accessibility services might be available through your school or district or have been used in the past, or explore options online–some examples of resources available are TalkingPoints, ParentSquare, and LanguageLine.

Create Opportunities for Connection and Ensure Accessibility

Hold regular events, such as family nights or workshops. These gatherings allow families to meet you and each other. It also provides a relaxed environment where they can ask questions and share their thoughts. Gather family input (e.g., survey) when planning events, such as if there are preferred days/times, accessibility considerations (e.g., virtual preference, translation/interpreter services needed, etc.), and any activity/topic ideas they may have.

When having regularly scheduled conferences or scheduling meetings as needed, ask families if they have a preference for a day/time and mode of communication (e.g., video call, phone call, in-person) that would work best for them, where there may be certain unknown challenges or barriers (e.g., work schedule, existing obligations, transportation, technological barriers, etc.). Ensure that arrangements are made if needed to provide translation and interpretation services during meetings for parents/caregivers who don't speak English proficiently or who are deaf or hard of hearing.

Encourage Feedback

Ask families for their input about the classroom and their child's needs, both individually and via an anonymous survey which might allow families to feel more comfortable sharing. For example, you might ask, “What do you think works best for your child in our classroom?” Asking for their input shows that you value their opinion and are willing to adapt to meet their child's needs. Additionally, you might discover a need you did not notice or realize, as well as anything that a child has particularly benefited from or enjoyed–both can provide valuable insights.

While certain requests made or ideas provided by families may not be doable, it’s important to let families know you’ve heard them, and are honest with them if something is not possible. Being honest about things not being possible, while at times difficult, can help to build trust where promises are not made then not followed through on. It can also help to provide an opportunity to problem-solve with families and come up with alternative or adapted solutions that may be helpful.

Be Consistent and Reliable

In addition to honesty and transparency, consistency and being reliable in your communication and actions also helps build trust with families. If you promise to follow up on something, make sure you do, and be honest with them if anything gets in the way and your plan to follow up. This shows families that you take their concerns seriously and are committed to their child’s well-being.

Celebrate Successes Together

When children reach milestones, share the joy with their families! Send home notes or call caregivers to celebrate achievements, big or small. Even if a long-term goal has not yet been reached, celebrate and share improvements and daily successes! This helps children and families develop and have a more positive association with school and with you, and also fosters a sense of teamwork and reinforces that you are all working towards the same goal: their child's success.