Neurodiversity-Affirming Care for Providers: Supporting Neurodivergent Children and Families

Understanding Neurodiversity-Affirming Care

Neurodiversity-affirming care recognizes neurological differences - including autism, ADHD, intellectual disabilities and learning differences – as natural variations of human diversity. This approach highlights a shift away from deficit-focused models, instead emphasizing strengths, individuality, and acceptance. A recent scoping review of the literature (Wagland et al., 2025) identified key components of neurodiversity-affirming care, including focusing on the quality of life of neurodivergent children, valuing their communication styles, and eliminating goals related to masking behavior.

Identity-Affirming Language: Identity-First vs Person-First

Language is central to shaping attitudes and perceptions. The neurodivergent community often prefers identity-first language (e.g., “autistic person”) as it emphasized neurodivergence as an integral part of identity. Contrastingly, person-first language (e.g., “people with autism”) is still widely used, namely in medical and educational settings. What is important to do as a provider is to engage in open conversations with families and individuals about preferences and model respect for individual and community identities. 

Understands and Addressing Masking (Camouflaging) Across Settings

Masking refers to the strategies neurodivergent individuals use to hide or suppress natural behaviors, such as stimming, avoiding eye contact, or scripting conversations, as a means of “fitting in” to neurotypical expectations. Although masking is often done to avoid bullying or discrimination, not only does it invalidate one’s identity, but research shows it is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, burnout, and loss of identity. 

Instead of teaching masking as a “social skill,” providers should:

• Focus on authenticity. Encourage children to express themselves safely, including using stimming, alternative communication, or sensory tools. 
• Teach self-advocacy. Support children in learning how to explain or communicate their needs, such as asking for quiet time, headphones, or movement breaks.
• Reframe social skills. Shift from “how to look neurotypical” to teaching flexible, reciprocal skills like identifying supportive friends, navigating conflict, and practicing self-regulation. 
• Model coping in public settings. Instead of having the expectation for children to “blend in,” coach families and teachers to create sensory-friendly environments, allow quiet zones, and normalize individual differences.
• Partner with schools. Ensure teachers understand that reducing masking does not mean lowering expectations; it means providing accommodations so students can engage authentically.

Affirming practices should prioritize psychological well-being and reduce the pressure to conform to rigid social norms.

Collaborating with Families and Schools

Effective collaboration with families and schools is essential in supporting neurodivergent children. Providers can facilitate this by:

• Sharing resources. Recommend affirming videos, websites, and handouts that highlight acceptance rather than correction (e.g., Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Understood.org)
• Training school staff. Help schools replace “compliance-based” behavior systems with supports that value autonomy. 
• Developing individualized plans. Ensure goals emphasize communication, coping, and advocacy rather than appearance-based conformity.

Cultural Competence in Neurodiversity-Affirming Care

Cultural competence remains central. Neurodivergent experiences are shaped by culture, language, and access to resources. As a provider, it’s crucial to practice cultural humility, learn about families’ values, and adapt supports to be culturally and linguistically appropriate for the individual. 

Embracing a Strengths-Based Approach

A strengths-based approach emphasizes creativity, resilience, and problem-solving. As a provider, you can help families see neurodivergence as a source of pride and potential. This includes guiding children to develop a positive self-identity while supporting caregivers in celebrating their child’s unique strengths.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Neurodiversity-affirming care views differences as natural human variation, not deficits.
2. Masking can harm mental health; providers should instead teach coping and advocacy.
3. Language matters! Discuss identity-first and person-first preferences openly. 
4. Collaboration with families and schools should focus on inclusion, not compliance. 
5. Strengths-based and culturally responsive practices foster resilience and pride.

Neurodiversity-affirming care empowers providers to support neurodivergent children and families through strength-based, culturally responsive, and identity-affirming practices. By moving away from masking and compliance-focused goals, providers can foster authentic self-expression, resilience, and long-term well-being.

FAQs

Isn’t teaching social skills the same as masking?

Not necessarily. Traditional social skills groups often focus on making neurodivergent kids appear more “neurotypical,” emphasizing things such as eye contact, tone of voice, and body language, which can promote masking. Instead, providers should focus on functional skills like how to make and maintain friendships, handle disagreements, and express needs. These skills don’t require hiding who a person is, instead fostering confidence and authentic communication.

How do I handle caregiver preferences about language (person vs. identity first)?

Ask! Families will vary in preferences. Many autistic adults prefer identity-first language, while some are more comfortable with person-first. Acknowledge the difference, respect the family’s choice, and explain why language matters. Doing so builds trust and models acceptance!

What do I do if a school is pushing compliance-based programs?

Provide evidence-based resources that demonstrate the risks of masking and the benefits of strengths-based approaches. You could also suggest shifting goals toward self-advocacy, emotional regulation, and authentic engagement. 

Can neurodiversity-affirming care still address challenging behaviors?

Yes. Behaviors should be viewed as communication, rather than defiance. Instead of suppressing behaviors, providers should investigate the underlying needs, whether that be sensory overload, unmet communication needs, or anxiety, to name a few. Once this is known, you can then support the child in finding safer, more sustainable coping strategies. 

How do I balance evidence-based practice with neurodiversity-affirming approaches?

These are not mutually exclusive! For example, cognitive-behavioral strategies can be adapted to affirm identity and reduce distress without forcing conformity. The evidence base is constantly evolving, and recent research highlights that interventions should measure success by improved well-being and autonomy, not by reductions in autistic traits.

Key Terms

Neurodiversity is the concept that neurological differences (e.g., autism, ADHD, learning disabilities) are natural variations of the human experience, not deficits or disorders.

Neurodivergent refers to an individual whose brain functions differently from what is considered “neurotypical.” Includes people with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, intellectual disabilities, and more.

Neurotypical is a term used to describe individuals whose neurological development and functioning align with societal norms and expectations.

Neurodiversity-Affirming Care is an approach that respects neurodivergent identities, focuses on strengths, and avoids interventions that pressure individuals to hide or suppress their differences.

Masking (or Camouflaging) is the act of hiding or altering one’s natural behaviors, communication, or reactions to fit into neurotypical norms.

Stimming (Self-Stimulatory Behavior) is repetitive body movements or sounds (e.g., hand-flapping, rocking, humming) that provide comfort, regulate emotions, or process sensory input.

Strengths-Based Approach is a perspective that emphasizes the unique abilities, talents, and resilience of neurodivergent individuals rather than focusing solely on challenges.

Identity-First Language is a way of speaking that places the identity before the person (e.g., “autistic person”), often preferred within the autistic community.

Person-First Language is a way of speaking that places the person before the condition (e.g., “person with autism”); still widely used in clinical and educational settings.

Cultural Humility is an ongoing practice of self-reflection, openness, and respect for cultural differences when providing care or support.

References

Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN). (2024). Inclusion & acceptance (Autism Acceptance resources). https://autisticadvocacy.org/inclusion-acceptance/ 

Botha, M., & Gillespie-Lynch, K. (2022). Come as you are: Examining autistic identity development and the neurodiversity movement through an intersectional lens. Human Development, 66(2), 93-112. https://doi.org/10.1159/000524123

Bradley, L., Shaw, R., Baron-Cohen, S., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autistic adults' experiences of camouflaging and its perceived impact on mental health. Autism in Adulthood, 3(4), 320–329. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0071

Lerner, M. D., Gurba, A. N., & Gassner, D. (2023). A framework for neurodiversity-affirming interventions for autistic individuals. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 91(9), 503–504. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000839

Wagland, Z., Sterman, J., Scott-Cole, L., Spassiani, N., & Njelesani, J. (2025). Promoting neurodiversity-affirming care for autistic children: A scoping review. Neurodiversity, 3, Article 27546330251357479. https://doi.org/10.1177/27546330251357479