Many different kinds of professionals work with children and families—teachers, pediatricians, counselors, social workers, early childhood educators, childcare staff, case managers, and even administrative staff who review reports or document family situations. These are just examples; there are many other roles that involve supporting children and families in ways that may expose staff to stress or trauma. Some positions may not involve direct contact with children, yet the work still exposes staff to stressful or traumatic information, such as reading reports, reviewing assessments, or documenting incidents. Regardless of the role, repeated exposure to these stories, situations, or observations can affect those who care for children and families.
At times, professionals may also directly see situations that are upsetting or traumatic, such as signs of injury, significant emotional distress, or unsafe living conditions. While helping in these moments is very important work, hearing about and seeing others’ struggles again and again can take a toll on the helpers as well.
This is sometimes called secondary traumatic stress. Secondary traumatic stress happens when someone is affected by hearing about or seeing another person’s trauma. It can lead to many different emotional and physical reactions—feeling tired, stressed, sad, worried, numb, irritable, or overwhelmed. Some people may feel anxious, frustrated, guilty, or even hopeless at times. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel, and everyone experiences these reactions differently.
One reason secondary traumatic stress can feel so intense is because of the close connections professionals build with children and families. Your ability to care deeply, notice when a child is struggling, and connect with them is a strength—it’s what makes you effective and compassionate in your work. At the same time, caring so much can make the emotional demands of the job heavier. It’s normal for a child’s struggles to stay on your mind after the workday ends, or for you to feel upset when you remember what they are going through. While this deep caring reflects your dedication and empathy, constantly carrying the emotional weight of the work home can be tiring and even unhealthy. Recognizing this doesn’t mean you’re weak; it’s a reminder that even your caring, strong heart needs boundaries, support, and self-care to stay well.
Sometimes a child’s story or situation may also remind you of your own experiences, such as difficult moments from your own childhood. It may also bring up thoughts about people you love—like your own children, family members, or other important people in your life—and the challenges they may have faced. These reminders—sometimes called triggers—can make feelings stronger and harder to manage. This is a normal human response, and many caring professionals experience it.
Over time, some professionals may feel like they are simply “getting used to” the hard parts of the job. But sometimes this can mean becoming emotionally numb. A person might feel less connected to their feelings or to the children they work with. They may notice they are more irritable, impatient, or easily frustrated. Some people also begin to have more negative thoughts, feel less hopeful, or feel discouraged—like many problems are too big to change or outside of their control. These can be signs that the work is taking a toll.
The following are some practical ways you can support your own well-being while continuing your important work with children and families.
Notice how the work affects you
Pay attention to your feelings, thoughts, and energy level. It can also help to notice what is happening in your body—such as feeling tense, having headaches, feeling very tired, or having trouble sleeping. These can be signals that stress is building up. If something feels especially upsetting or draining, it may help to pause and gently explore why. Sometimes a situation feels heavier because it reminds us of our own experiences or of someone we care about. Identifying and acknowledging these connections can help you better understand your reactions and take steps to care for yourself.
Talk with trusted colleagues
Sharing experiences with coworkers, supervisors, or mentors can help you process stress and feel less alone. It can be helpful to set aside time specifically to talk about challenges or concerns at work. Sometimes, though, simply connecting with colleagues—chatting, sharing a laugh, or checking in about everyday life—can provide meaningful support beyond work struggles. These relationships create a sense of community and belonging that helps buffer the stress of the job.
Set healthy boundaries
It can be easier said than done to set boundaries, especially when the work is emotionally demanding or when staff shortages and deadlines make it hard to step back. But boundaries are important for sustaining your well-being. Specific strategies include: planning your day so there is time for breaks, using “end-of-day” rituals to leave work behind, limiting after-hours emails or calls when possible, asking for support when the workload feels too heavy, and clearly communicating your limits to colleagues or supervisors. Remember, setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness—it is a way to protect your ability to care for children effectively.
Take care of your body and mind
This can also be challenging, especially when work is demanding and life outside of work has its own stressors. Practical ways to support yourself include: scheduling short physical activity breaks (even a 5–10 minute walk), keeping healthy snacks or water nearby, using breathing exercises or brief mindfulness moments throughout the day, maintaining a regular sleep schedule when possible, and carving out time for hobbies or activities that bring you joy. Small, consistent practices can help sustain emotional and physical energy over time, even during busy periods.
Remember the good you are doing
It can be hard to notice the positive impact of your work when so much may feel out of your control. Yet recognizing the ways you make a difference can help sustain motivation and your emotional well-being. Try keeping a small journal or notebook where you note moments of success or progress—like a child smiling, mastering a new skill, or opening up in a conversation. Celebrating small wins, even subtle ones, can remind you of your impact. You might also take a moment at the end of the day to reflect quietly on something meaningful you did or a positive interaction you witnessed. Sharing these moments with a trusted colleague can reinforce the good you are doing and create a sense of shared accomplishment. Even small, consistent practices of noticing the positive can help balance the stress and challenges that come with different kinds of child-serving work.
Supportive systems are key
Caring for your well-being should not rest solely on individual professionals—it requires active support from leadership and the organization. Supervisors and leaders play a critical role in creating a culture where staff wellness is valued. This can include encouraging staff to take breaks or time off when needed, holding regular check-ins about stress and workload, providing access to counseling or consultation resources, and creating opportunities for drop-in conversations or wellness activities. Leaders also have a responsibility to ensure that staff at all levels—including those who may not have direct contact with children—have access to support and resources. Organizations can normalize open discussions about emotional challenges, making it clear that seeking support is expected and valued, not a sign of weakness. When supportive systems are in place, professionals can better manage the emotional demands of their work, sustain their resilience, and continue providing high-quality care to children and families.
Resource: Pause Cards
To help manage stress in the moment and take care of you,a downloadable set of Pause Cards is available for child-serving professionals. These cards include short breathing exercises, grounding prompts, and affirmations that can be used in just 1–5 minutes. You are encouraged to keep a few cards at your desk, in your pocket, or in a staff lounge to have easy access during the day.
Tips for using the cards:
Caring for children and families is important work. Taking care of yourself—and being supported by the system around you—helps you keep doing that work well. When professionals are supported and protect their well-being, they are better able to show up with patience, kindness, and care for the children they serve.