.png?width=20&height=20&name=X%20(1).png){kind=small}
All babies cry. It’s a normal part of being a newborn and the main way they communicate. Sometimes, babies cry when they need something, like food or a diaper change. But they also cry to relieve tension, to help themselves fall asleep, or when they’re bored or over-stimulated. Often, there’s no clear reason for a baby’s crying. Studies show some healthy, normal babies can cry up to 4-5 hours a day.
How can I soothe my crying baby?
There will be times when you can easily stop your newborn’s crying and times when nothing you do seems to make a difference. Even though nobody can stop a baby from crying completely, there are some ways to reduce the amount of time your baby cries.
Run through a checklist of some common causes of baby crying:
- Hungry
- Dirty diaper
- Overtired
- Bored
- Sick
- Uncomfortable: check for plastic clothing tags or hair caught on a finger or toe
If your baby is crying for one of these reasons, there is usually a quick solution, e.g. if your baby is wet, change their diaper. But sometimes, it’s not that easy. Sometimes babies cry just because their nervous system is getting used to the world outside the womb. If you’re not sure why your baby is crying, there are still things you can try that may help.
Simple strategies to try first:
- Movement: bouncing, rocking, swaying, pushing in a stroller, or going for a drive
- Wearing in a baby carrier or sling
- Pacifier
- Soothing sounds like soft music, white noise, or “shush”ing
- Gently patting or rubbing their head or belly
- Hold your baby on their belly or side while supporting their head and neck (Babies should always be put down to sleep on their backs)
- A warm bath
These strategies won’t work on every baby every time. When you try to calm your baby and your baby keeps crying, that does NOT mean that you are a bad parent. Trying to soothe your baby is a sign of good parenting even though it won’t always work.
When should I worry?
Sometimes babies cry when they’re sick. Take your baby’s temperature. A rectal thermometer is the most accurate. If the temperature is over 100.4, call your pediatrician.
Other signs your baby could be sick include: not eating well; less than 3 wet diapers a day; diarrhea; poop that is red or black; vomiting more than usual spit up; poor eye contact or being less interactive. If you have any concerns about your baby’s health, it’s best to call your pediatrician.
Could this be colic?
Some babies cry because they have colic.
Colic is excessive, inconsolable crying in a healthy baby. One in five babies may have colic. It is worst around 4-6 weeks old and usually gets better on its own when babies are 3 months old. The crying is usually intense, can last hours, and is worse in the afternoon or evening. A colicky baby may arch their back, draw up their legs, pass gas, and turn red while crying. But during the day when they’re not crying, they look and behave normally.
Experts don’t know what causes colic. It might be due to an immature digestive system, sensory overload, gas discomfort, reflux, migraines, or a sensitive nervous system. Having a colicky baby or a baby who is hard to soothe is NOT related to what kind of a parent you are. You can do everything “right” and that still may not calm a crying colicky baby.
There is no specific test or treatment for colic. For some babies, it helps to change formula or stop dairy if breastfeeding. Talk to a doctor about whether changing your baby’s diet may improve their symptoms.
For most babies, colic goes away without treatment. Those first few months can feel like they’ll never end. But each day you get through together is one day closer to an interactive, cooing, laughing, and colic-free baby. It does get better.
I’m at the end of my rope. What can I do?
No parent is able to calm their baby every time they cry. There will be times when your baby cries and you don’t know why. It’s normal to feel frustration, guilt, helplessness, and anger when your baby is crying and can’t be soothed.
When you feel frustrated or overwhelmed in the moment:
- If your baby is fed, warm, and dry, it’s okay to let them cry in a safe place like their bassinet or crib for 10-15 minutes while you take a break.
- Use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones. Getting a few minutes of quiet can make a big difference.
- Change the scenery. Move to different room, look out a window, or step outside.
- Get backup. Reach out to your partner, family, or friends. Even if they can’t be there in-person, sometimes just a text or phone call can make you feel supported and less alone.
- Call the Crying Baby Helpline. They’re available 24/7 to offer ideas and support: 866-243-2229 (BABY)
- Remember, it’s never okay to shake, jerk, hit, or hurt a baby. And it never helps the situation. The most common trigger for shaken baby injuries is frustration with a baby’s continued crying. If you’re having a hard time controlling your anger, put your baby down in a safe place and step away to calm down.
When you’ve been dealing with a crying baby and need more support:
- Get your baby checked out by their pediatrician. The doctor will talk with you, do an exam, and check your baby’s growth and development. They can figure out if there’s a medical problem and suggest treatments that might help. They can also reassure you if your baby is healthy and doing well.
- Find a support group. There are many groups online and in-person for parents of colicky babies, breastfeeding parents, single parents, and more. Even if you don’t share, you can get new tips and feel less alone.
- Consider your mental health. The stress and exhaustion of a crying baby increases the risk of postpartum depression or anxiety. There are treatments that can help including therapy or medication. Talk to your doctor or a mental health provider.
- Remind yourself that your baby’s crying is not related to your parenting. And feeling frustrated, angry, or resentful sometimes can be a normal response. This is a phase that both of you will get through together.
Resources
Zero to Three- How to Stay Calm when Baby Won’t Stop Crying
HealthyChildren.org- How to Calm a Fussy Baby
.png?width=352&name=BSC%20Blog%20image%20(900%20x%20525%20px).png)